Let me start with a little honesty: Im not the biggest fan of online dating.
I know it works for some people. Plenty of couples meet on dating apps, get married and have long lasting relationships. But for me personally, the experience has always felt...a little forced (cringey even).
Too often, it seems like people are on dating apps for reasons that have nothing to do with actually building a connection. From my experience, some men join because they are bored or fresh out of relationships. Some are just looking for hookups or validation (thinking they still "got it"). At some point, I just got so tired of the same conversation lines, same questions: Why are you still single? What do you do for fun? What do you do for work? Do you cook? What is your favorite food? The same questions over and over and over. I get these are also "normal" questions to ask, but for someone like me, it just gives interview (interrogation even ). And there's nothing really wrong with that if that's your thing, to me, it just waters down the whole experience if you are someone actually seeking a genuine connection.
I've always preferred meeting people in the wild.
There's something interesting and fun about randomly meeting someone and striking up a conversation. The best interactions are the interactions that are unexpected and unplanned. On vacation, solo restaurant trips or meeting someone at an event on a Friday night. Those moments feel natural. There's no pressure, no cringey profiles and no cheesy, annoying bios. Just two people simply crossing paths and seeing where the conversation goes.
That's one of the reasons I'm a BIG believer in taking yourself on solo dates. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Go to brunch alone. Sit at the bar at a nice restaurant for happy hour. Walk through the mall or a local coffee shop. When you're out living your life, you naturally open the door to meeting people who share similar interests.
You'd be surprised how many conversations start simply because you're present and approachable.
Now, if you do choose to use dating apps, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just remember that your safety and boundaries always come first.
At the end of the day, dating whether it's online or in the wild, should be exciting, fun and not draining or unsafe.
Trust me, I delete the app, then i'll download it again, and delete it again (right now it's deleted indefinitely lol).
So if online dating feels frustrating, give yourself permission to step away from it and go out!
Explore. Take yourself on dates. Start a hobby or try a new restaurant. Be open to or start conversations.
You might just make a new friend (wink).
For now, I've taken a break from the pressures of dating and dating in general and decided to live my life intentionally and choosing to have more experiences that brings me joy. Me, myself and I (and Oreo, my dog).
Dating Do's (Online or in the wild)
Meet in a public place for the first few dates (never go to someones place of residence)
Tell a friend or family member where you're going and who you are meeting (I always share my location with a friend or family)
Trust your intuition (if it feels weird, don't ignore it, there are creeps out there!)
Have fun! Choose new experiences or activities
Dating Don'ts (Online or in the wild)
Don't feel pressured to move faster than you're comfortable with
Stop ignoring the red flags!
If it doesn't align, let it fly (let it go)!
Don't settle (choosing a partner is INDEED a big deal)
*If you have any personal successes or stories for women dating (online or in the wild) feel free to share them below. We are here to empower and help each other navigate tough moments and transitions*
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