I've been living on my own for the past 7 years and a short time before then when I had my own apartment for a couple years, and one of the biggest things I've learned is: living alone is not something to be afraid of, its something to embrace.
There's a lot of noise around being single or living by yourself, especially for women. Some women are viewed as difficult, too independent (which I've personally heard myself from men). Some women do not want to be alone and a lot of women have never known what it's like to live alone. But my experience has been the opposite. Living alone has been one of the most grounding, clarifying, and empowering experiences . I love living alone and it's often hard to visualize one day sharing a space with someone (again... which I've done and 0/10 will not recommend).
It has taught me who I actually am when no one else is shaping the environment around me.
You don't really know who you are until you've lived alone or at least spent an extended time by yourself.
There's a version of you that only exists in solitude. When no one is influencing your routine, your mood, your space, or your decisions, you start to notice your real preferences. What you like. What you don't like. What restores you.
Your home becomes a mirror. A safe space. A safe haven.
And over time, you stop adjusting yourself for others and start building a life that actually fits you and that you create for yourself.
Independence to me is normal, not scary. I've always been independent, my parents always taught me to have my own and not to depend on others. "Be self sufficient".
One of the most underrated parts of living alone is financial independence. You learn quickly that everything is YOUR responsibility...mortgage, food, bills, comfort, travel, peace and especially if anything goes wrong and needs repair (smh). This one I can see both sides and there's a sacrifice that is made. Yes, would it be nice to have someone take care of your bills, be able to depend on someone else, or help with repairs around the house? Yes, of course. On the contrary, you just learn to adjust and take care of things yourself.
It forces you into awareness.
You learn how to budget, how to prioritize, how to create stability for yourself without depending on anyone else to provide it. And that changes how you move through the world.
Because once you know you can take care of yourself, you stop moving from a place of dependency.
Your home becomes your safe space.
There's a different kind of peace that comes from walking into a space that is fully yours. No compromise on your own comfort.
You get to create routines that actually support you. You get to rest when you need to rest. You get to exist without explanation.
That kind of peace builds something inside you...self trust.
And about relationships...
Living alone makes you more intentional.
You're no longer choosing someone because you need them to fill a gap. You're choosing from wholeness, not lack.
And that changes everything.
A different way to look at living alone.
Even in an economy where living alone can feel like a luxury (or burden, especially in THIS economy lol), I don't take it for granted. Im grateful for it. For the space. For the independence. For the quiet lessons it's taught me about who I am when Im fully on my own.
And honestly, I can't imagine rushing out of this chapter just because it's expected.
There's nothing wrong with building a life where you are your own foundation.
If anything, that might be the most important foundation of all.
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