So...how did we get here?

I was born to two hardworking immigrants from Trinidad and Tobago. Hardworking. Disciplined. Sacrificial. The kind of parents who didn't play when it came to education. In our house, the formula was clear: Get good grades. Go to college. Earn your degree. Start your career. Get married. Start a family. Start your life. 

No detours. No drama. No excuses.

I have one younger brother, and we both understood the assignment. So, I did exactly what I was supposed to do, up until a certain point. I attended West Chester University. Earned my Bachelor's in Public Health. Then, went back and got my Master's in Public Health. (We will talk about my career path another time)

On paper? Gold star.

I followed the "blueprint". I checked the boxes. I did the "right" thing.

And yet... At 36, I'm sitting here asking myself a question I never thought I would have to ask: Why do I still feel unfulfilled? No one told us that success could still feel empty. No one told us that you could be educated, responsible and independent and still feel like something is missing. I thought the formula guaranteed fulfillment. But what if the formula was just survival? What if it was about security.....not alignment?

My parents did what they knew. They provided us with stability; they gave me an opportunity and they laid the foundation. But somewhere in between chasing achievement and being the "good daughter," I stopped asking myself what I actually wanted. 

So... how did we get here? 

By being seemingly responsible.

By being obedient.

"Trusting" the process.

By following rules that were designed for safety, not necessarily joy.

And now?

Now I'm unlearning.

Now I'm questioning.

Now I'm redefining success at 36.

Because maybe getting here wasn't a mistake.

Maybe, it's just the beginning of doing it differently.